Thriving Through the Power of Being Comfortable with Being Misunderstood

by Kim Donahue

Thriving Through the Power of Being Comfortable with Being Misunderstood

We live in a world where clarity is often sought after and understanding is highly valued, the fear of being misunderstood can hold many people back from truly expressing themselves. The pressure to conform, to fit into the neat little boxes society provides, can be overwhelming. But what if, instead of fearing misunderstanding, we embraced it? What if we saw being misunderstood as a sign of growth, innovation, and self-actualization? What if being comfortable with being misunderstood was the key to thriving in a world that often demands conformity? The top 1% of the Elites believe that they will never be put in a box, they always think outside of a box, they are rarely understood by the general population, and they have a small circle of friends they can count on.

I wanted to write this after watching Dan Martell on a YouTube Podcast that talked about. I have always been told: Your dreams are too big, when I have a vision for something no one else is doing people would say it can’t be done, when I explain things to people, they can’t understand me even when I explain more and mostly just misunderstood! Let’s explore the profound impact of embracing the discomfort of being misunderstood and how doing so can lead to personal and professional growth, greater resilience, and ultimately, a more fulfilling life. After all of these years I finally get that it is ok to be misunderstood because that means I am not in the general 90% of the population. Succeeding is truly an option for me no matter how high I CHOOSE to go.

This last year I was incredibly burned out. Beating myself up for not doing the things I knew would propel me to higher levels. I was sick, couldn’t work out, planning our wedding, going through Menopause and other health issues. Finally, after our wedding came words of wisdom supernaturally downloaded and a light bulb went off. What if you stop giving to those you feel you aren’t pouring into themselves? What if you start paying attention to your health, wealth, personal and professional relationships? What if you start seeing your own personal worth of being in the top 10%? I chose to create my mission statement to be who I am rather than who I will be – own it now.

When you sit down and create your own personal mission statement of who you are, who you will serve and how you will reap what you sow. All I can say is wow... Things change. You will no longer allow for people to treat you as having less value. You will no longer allow for boundaries to be broken. You will no longer will you speak to yourself negatively because you would never do that to someone else. As I began my journey of growth five years ago, I have watched people come into my life for a reason and a season. My life became a swinging door of people coming in and going out. Now that I sit a reflect on those relationships, I am grateful for each and everyone. It brought lessons, journeys, I was introduced to special people into my life, I grew tougher, stronger and walk taller. I can’t believe the formational changes.

The Nature of Being Misunderstood

To be misunderstood is to be seen, heard, or interpreted in a way that doesn't align with our true intentions or identity. It can happen in any context—at work, in relationships, or within us. The feeling of being misunderstood can evoke a range of emotions, from frustration to sadness to anger. Yet, it's an experience shared by everyone at some point in life. When this happens, I want you to stop what you are doing. Take inventory of who you are, your mission, your values and your worth, and then repeat after me:

“I choose peace, joy and MYSELF over any situation. I will go all in to bet on myself. I no longer have to justify, explain or entertain others’ opinions of me because I know my value, my worth and I have worked too hard, come too far to end my mission here. I have a purpose bigger than me, I have dreams bigger than others, I have people counting on me that love, honor and cherish who I am and the place I sit in their hearts where they also sit in mine.”

Think about this statement: When someone is coming after you, criticizing you, misunderstanding you... It is because they are a CONFUSED FAN. They aren’t haters. They just don’t understand you. That’s ok. Maybe they weren’t meant to. Maybe they aren’t YOUR PERSON. Remember SEASON and REASON. Let them be them. Don’t explain. Don’t justify. Just Let it be. You have not come this far in life to STOP.

Being misunderstood is often a byproduct of individuality. When you step outside the norms, whether in thought, behavior, or expression, you're likely to encounter resistance or confusion from others. This is especially true for innovators, creatives, and leaders who push boundaries and challenge the status quo.

Why Being Misunderstood is Inevitable

The more you align with your authentic self, the more likely you are to be misunderstood by those who don't share your vision or values. This is because authenticity often requires breaking away from societal expectations. People are conditioned to understand the world through their own experiences and biases, and when they encounter something—or someone—that doesn’t fit their preconceived notions, misunderstanding occurs.

Consider some of the greatest minds in history—Galileo, Einstein, and Van Gogh. Each was misunderstood in their time, labeled as eccentric, strange, or even mad. Yet, it was precisely their willingness to embrace their unique perspectives, despite being misunderstood, that allowed them to make groundbreaking contributions to the world.

The Fear of Being Misunderstood

The fear of being misunderstood is deeply rooted in our desire for connection and belonging. Humans are social creatures, and we naturally seek approval and acceptance from others. When we're misunderstood, it can feel like a rejection of who we are, leading to self-doubt and insecurity.

This fear can be particularly pronounced in professional settings. In the workplace, being misunderstood can lead to miscommunication, missed opportunities, or even conflict. In personal relationships, it can cause emotional distance or hurt feelings. As a result, many people choose to play it safe, conforming to the expectations of others rather than expressing their true selves.

The Freedom of Embracing Misunderstanding

However, when we shift our perspective and become comfortable with being misunderstood, we unlock a new level of freedom. Embracing misunderstanding allows us to:

Stay True to Ourselves: When you accept that not everyone will understand or agree with you, it becomes easier to live authentically. You're no longer shackled by the need for external validation, which allows you to make decisions that align with your true values and beliefs.
Encourage Innovation and Creativity: Innovation often comes from seeing the world differently than others do. If you’re constantly trying to conform to others’ understanding, you may stifle your creativity. By embracing misunderstanding, you give yourself permission to explore new ideas, challenge conventional wisdom, and push boundaries.
Build Resilience: Being misunderstood can be uncomfortable, but it also builds resilience. Each time you face misunderstanding and stand firm in your truth, you strengthen your ability to navigate criticism, rejection, and adversity. Over time, you become less affected by others' opinions and more confident in your own path. I want you to remember something: Unless the person who has an opinion has been or is where you want to go then that opinion should be a reflection of themselves in the mirror not yours.
Cultivate Deeper Connections: Ironically, embracing misunderstanding can lead to deeper, more meaningful connections. When you are authentic and open, you attract people who appreciate and resonate with your true self. These connections are often stronger and more fulfilling than those based on superficial understanding or conformity.
Foster Personal Growth: Being misunderstood often forces us to reflect on our beliefs, values, and choices. This introspection can lead to personal growth, as we become more self-aware and confident in our identity. It also allows us to develop a deeper understanding of others, fostering empathy and compassion.

Strategies for Thriving While Being Misunderstood

Shift Your Mindset: Instead of seeing misunderstanding as a negative, reframe it as a sign that you are growing and evolving. Understand that it’s impossible to please everyone and that being true to yourself is more important than being universally understood.
Communicate Clearly and Openly: While it's important to accept that not everyone will understand you, it’s also crucial to communicate your thoughts and intentions clearly. Being misunderstood doesn’t mean you should avoid explaining yourself; rather, it means doing so without the expectation that everyone will get it.
Seek Out Like-Minded Individuals: Surround yourself with people who understand and support you. These individuals can offer validation and encouragement, helping you stay grounded when faced with misunderstanding.
Practice Self-Compassion: Being misunderstood can be painful, so it’s important to practice self-compassion. Remind yourself that misunderstanding is a natural part of being human and doesn’t diminish your worth or value.
Stay Grounded in Your Values: When faced with misunderstanding, stay anchored in your core values. Let these values guide your actions and decisions, even when others don’t see things the way you do.
Embrace Vulnerability: Being misunderstood often requires vulnerability. Embrace it. Share your true self, even when it’s uncomfortable, knowing that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.

Thriving in a world where you are comfortable being misunderstood is about embracing the complexity of your individuality. It’s about understanding that true growth, innovation, and self-fulfillment often come from stepping outside the boundaries of others’ expectations. While the journey may be challenging, the rewards of living authentically and courageously are well worth the effort.

By shifting your mindset, embracing the discomfort, and staying true to yourself, you can not only survive but thrive in the face of misunderstanding. You’ll discover a life filled with deeper connections, greater creativity, and a sense of freedom that only comes from living in alignment with your true self. So, embrace being misunderstood—it might just be the key to unlocking your full potential.

I would love to share some of what I have learned from so many great people. If you love to read, learn, listen and grow. Follow some of these amazing people. Just 1-2 hours out of every day while you are already doing other stuff will shift you to new heights. Xo

If you need someone to learn from, get inspiration from or just look up to check these out:

This is my short list of people I follow, have read their books, watched their YouTube Channels, gone to their retreats/seminars

Alex Hormozi: https://www.acquisition.com/bio-alex

Dan Martell: https://www.danmartell.com

Ed Mylett: https://www.edmylett.com

Evan Carmichael: https://believe.evancarmichael.com

Gabby Bernstein: https://gabbybernstein.com

Greg Luther: https://www.gregluthercoaching.com

Hal Elrod: https://halelrod.com

Karen Coffey: https://karencoffey.com

Leila Hormozi: https://www.acquisition.com/bio-leila-2

Lewis Howes: https://lewishowes.com